Monday, January 16, 2006

The Space Between

I love the reactions I get when I tell people that I've attended a relationship seminar. The spectrum goes from groans of disgust, to polite disinterestedness, to polite nosiness, to sincere curiosity.

My church has been sponsoring these seminars on a monthly basis for any singles in the area who would like to attend. The presenter is Matt Townsend who owns a marriage coaching business here in Salt Lake. It's called Marriage Matters.Go check out the website, it's pretty slick! While he usually coaches married couples who are struggling in their relationships, he has consented to present his ideas to single people so that they might find a good partner to begin with.

The basic premise of his coaching is that relationships suffer because the are STARVED or lacking one of the following elements:

Safety
Trust
Appreciation
Respect
Validation
Encouragment
Dedication

Tonight he discussed the concept of space in a relationship. The ideal relationship works on the concept of syngergism or the concept of 1+1=3. He taught us about an Islamic concept that explains how this equation can be true. The element of the equation that makes the sum larger than the it's two parts is the relationship that exists between the two parts or the "+" sign. This can be interpreted many ways. In my religion-- The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints we believe that God plays a significant role in the success of a marriage relationship. Other ideas included the mere energy created when two people "draft" or pull and push one another along, similar to the way race cars work on the track.

I loved this concept because I've been fascinated of late about the power I have as an individual to interact with others and ease their burdens, or encourage them to behave a certain way, without blatantly stating what I want. I learn to interact with them through the language I use or the energy I percieve from them to meet their needs or draw out of them the responses I desire.

Tonight I gained clarity on the "space" that I'm cultivating to grow the relationships and happiness and peace I desire in my life.

4 comments:

Austin Stevenson Owens said...

She's turnin' into a bloggin' fool! I can't believe I missed an entry! lol I have a pattern I've figured out... blog first, respond to comments, then go down the daily reading list, all depending on time... Good news is that you're top on the list of the Daily Read. :D

Do you have a place where you can see hits from another site? Like, on Spaces, I can tell when you come to my site by either you or somebody else clicking on my link from your site... I'd be SO interested to see if you're getting any Scooter referrals. :D

It sounds like the seminar was really interesting--how long is this guy going to be presenting? You said it was monthly?

And then... I had to laugh! I can tell you've been writing a million (and one) school papers. Your writing hasn't "loosened up" yet. :D All in good time! :D

XOXOXOXOXOXOXXOOXOXOXO me

Austin Stevenson Owens said...

OH--and great title! :D

Wade Hone said...

I agree with your sis, Excellent info in your post! thanks for putting it in your blog!

~wade -out.

Anonymous said...

Becca, I stumbled upon your blog today while doing a search on Matt Townsend. We just attended one of his classes today. It was as you said, excellent. I just wanted you to know that the link you posted for Marriage Matters belongs to someone completely different. You can go to Matt's page at www.matttownsend.com.

Thanks!

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