Work hard, Rest well, Play again soon!

When I decided to have knee surgery, I knew that it would take some focus time to recover and get things back on track. But a whole MONTH?? I guess I should count myself lucky. Story swapping tells me that most people took 6-8 weeks to recover fully from their knee scope, and mine was a little more extensive than just a scope.

I think I can sincerely say that I have never had the experience of focussing so purely on the physical part of my development. After two weeks of physical therapy, my therapist told me basically that he was disappointed in my progress and if I didn't start making some better progress, I was going to be in "trouble." I never had him elaborate on what "trouble" meant. But I felt ashamed enough that I decided that I never wanted someone to be disappointed in me like that again. I worked so hard!!

I have to do an exercise called heel slides-- probably the most painful part of the therapy. I consists of lying on the floor with my bum 6-8 inches from the wall and my legs resting against the wall. I then slide my heel down until my knee won't bend anymore. After the "disappointment" visit, I increased the rotation in my knee by 20%-- more than double what I had done in all of my previous visits combined. I'm now at a 131% rotation in comparison with 145% on my un-injured knee. My next appointment is on Thursday this week-- wish me luck in gaining full rotation!

I'm still having quite a bit of pain, but it's the dull constant pain rather than the who-took-a-saw-to-my-knee? kind of pain. I think I need to focus on resting more than I have been-- work hard, rest well, right? If I can do that, I'll be able to play hard again soon. (playing is MUCH more fun than resting;))

My current goal is to be on my bike on September 9th.. riding on the Jordan River Parkway. Bring it on!!


On another note, classes began for Fall Sememster at the college this week. I have to find a way to differentiate between the school I work for and the school I attended. When I was studying, I found that I wrapped them all into a single event, and confused people in the process. They never knew whether I was referring to work or my studies.

That should resolve itself pretty well now, since I'm not taking classes for myself. I felt a little bit off last week, and couldn't put my finger on it until I remembered that this is the first Fall Sememster in two years where I haven't been in a bustle to get my school supplies ready to attend class. There's a little bit of melancholy with that fact, and a little bit of relief. :) but life has a way of keeping us from dwelling on the subject too long.

The Silence

I keep telling people I'm learning to listen to the silence... and well... Here it is. Mom and Dad have left for the holiday weekend.

I've been living with my folks for about 4 months now. I was living in a condo all by myself and was very used to time alone-- enjoying it for a while, but eager for company on occasion. Moving home was kind of a last minute "have to do" because I thought I'd sold my condo. (Long story about that one-- one that I'd really just like to forget, so i won't document it here.) That was in the thick of graduate school too, so I kind of forgot what silence sounded like. Home is bustling all the time. If I'm not at work, Mom and Dad are here to share a meal with. My sister and her family pop over for a visit. The neighbor comes over to say hello... very rarely is it just quiet. I'm not complaining about this at all. It's been good for me, as I almost tended to have a hermit-like existence when I was living alone. Balance is a good thing.

It's been my mission for a little while now to find the silence again, now that I can appreciate it and it isn't stifled by nagging thoughts about what I should be studying, or what relationship I'd been neglecting. So, I've been looking forward to a weekend alone to see if I can still handle the alone time.

I think I've rediscovered some of it. I thought I could easily find the person I was before I went back to school. I was pretty happy and content with life. BUT!! that person no longer exists. I've grown so much and learned new things about myself and the world around me. So I'm finding the new person who appreciates the silence much more, and from a different perspective.

• I've had a few visits with my grandparents and a good friend in Idaho that were positively cleansing and renewing. I can't tell you how much I look forward to sitting and talking with the people I love and discovering new and fascinating stories about their lives and who they are. They are part of who I am, and help me discover more about who I am through them.
• I've also had some health issues that require some doctor office time. It used to be that I took school books to the office so I could catch up on a reading assignment, or I sat in the waiting room impatiently tapping my foot waiting for my name to be called, so i could tap my foot impatiently in the examination room waiting for the doctor to come tell me the next step in my health goals. Very deliberatly I decided to just sit and breath until the dr. came. No books, no tapping of feet: just looking at the white wall and breathing and thinking of nothing. Wow.. that sure was a great slow down effect.
• I've also decided to leave the questions in my life unanswered for the time being and just let the answer come. "where are you going to live?" " will you get a new job now that you are done with school?"" what is the next step in this relationship?" ALL LEFT TO TIME and ANSWERS when they come. That is refreshing as well.
• Took a hike with a good friend the other day. We talked non stop for about 3 hours about this process. She's discovering herself again too, and people are befuddled by her. I kinda like befuddling people. It means I'm growing and being my own person.

Well.. deep thoughts for a new post. Maybe this silence stuff will help me make more frequent posts... with some light hearted stuff too. :D

Thanks for stopping by!

Maryanne's Haiku

we were prepping our plants in the office for a 3 day weekend, and i found a brown leaf. It prompted a moment of creativity for Miss Maryanne, and she produced the following dramatic haiku:

I found a brown leaf

It was a very dead leaf

I threw it away

Counting down....

The end of the line...

As far as we go, please exit the train.

I took off early from work on Friday. Rode the local Lightrail, Traxx, downtown to have a fancy late lunch at the Little America Hotel and see a movie with a good friend from work.

We caught the train at the souther most station-- Sandy, and rode all the way to the top of the line-- the Gateway Plaza. Cheesy voice recordings just BEG to be mimicked, and so I found myself playing mockingbird as I stood to exit the train.

The wonderful part was, I was exiting ANOTHER train as well. Two years ago I started on a couple of crazy adventures, one of them being an M.Ed. (Masters of Education) program at Utah State University, the land grant college for the state of Utah.

I was going to study Instructional Technology and become a rich and famous instructional designer for the California College for Health Sciences.

The adventure at the college ended before the adventure at USU, but it's all culminated to give me an experience that was a struggle and a confidence builder and a frustration and an exhileration all at the same time.

I exited the train of the next step of my education. I completed my final project early on Friday morning, and recieved notification late Saturday night that my work was acceptable, and that no revision would be necessary.

Take a look here to see what I've done! :) I'm still open to suggestions about improvements to make, but give me a week or so to decompress. It's time to realize my freedom from a couple of trains. :)

Online Orientation for Distance Education

My Portfolio

I wonder what train I'll get on next??

Going to the polls!

Time to vote on the preferred hairdo. :) I got my hair done Tuesday afternoon, and had it styled straight, which was kind of fun for a minute. I usually do my hair curly, so I thought I'd take a vote.

Enjoy!

Oh! a quick P.S... I updated my settings so you don't have to have a blogger account to leave a comment. So if you are visiting from MSN Spaces, you don't have to jump hoops anymore. (Sorry Alison!! I just found out about that feature a few days ago!) I'll see how that goes and if it causes any problems. :D


A. 
B.  

Looming deadlines....

And I'm playing on my blog! :)

You Are Mint Green

Balanced and calm, you have mastered the philosophy of living well. Your friends seek you out for support, and you are able to bring stability to chaotic situations. You're very open and cheerful - and you feel like you have a lot of freedom in life. Your future may hold any number of exciting things, and you're ready for all of them!

What Color Green Are You?

the thief!

Testing to see if my thievery will work!!

Party games

I went to a fun potluck dinner party tonight at my friend Candy's house. It was SO refreshing! We've been trying to get together for several days now, and it just hasn't worked out, so when I missed her birthday dinner on Tuesday, she told me that there were no outs from the dinner party tonight.

She made this fabulous taco soup, (which I need to get the recipe for) and the rest of us filled in the empty spots. There were about 20 people there, and we had.... about 20 desserts! She had to beg us to take the uneaten sweets home with us too. Funny how those things work out.

So we played a fun game. Not a game really, but a good conversation starter. Her roommate Maria has a book of 4000 questions. So we tried a few.

Do you prefer long or short hair on the opposite sex?
What bitterness are you hiding in your heart?
Are you more likely to exaggerate, tell the straight facts, or understate a story when you relate it to others?

Or how about this humdinger: What five people would you take to a deserted island with you and why?

This is the question that has stuck with me. I'm facing a change in my social habits as a friend prepares to start dating someone seriously. :) It shouldn't throw me for a loop too bad as we've been through this before, but it has. So, while some would contemplate famous people from history or famous people from contenporary times, I've been contemplating the people in my life that are vital to my happiness and who I can't imagine my life without their influence. :) or put otherwise.. the people who leave the biggest holes when I don't get to have a daily association with them.


Austin: My best friend and confidant, thank goodness for long distance cell phone plans!! I can share anything with her and she understands, sympathizes and encourages all at the same time!

Wade: A soul mate and ego booster. He's always duely impressed with my forays into the world of geeks and more than willing to share an intelligent conversation over books, educational methods or new business ideas. The best ones happen during Harry Potter, or any movie for that matter.

Nate: Soul mate #2 who always has a new and uplifting philosophy on life and how to interface with other human beings on the planet.

Victoria: Bonding at the Beach... need I say more???

Lynnet: One of the wisest women I know, with a deep and strong testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I want to be just like her when I grow up!

There's the required five.. I could go on and on and on for a long time. I sure appreciate the people who touch my life and make me feel loved and appreciated. My life is richer for my associations with you.

xoxoxo

My World View...

I found this at Gelati Farms... a blog I found through my sister and best friend. She's adorable, and so much fun to read about her adventures.

I found the results of the quiz fascinating, as I consider myself quite religious.

You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational. Cultural Creative 81% Idealist 75% Fundamentalist 63% Romanticist 56% Existentialist 50% Materialist 31% Postmodernist 31% Modernist 13% What is Your World View? (updated) created with QuizFarm.com

Tagged?? Where's the spray paint?

I haven't played tag in AGES!! and i'm rethinking my game playing philosophy.

I used to be happy to play a game with someone so they could feel good about winning. No more! I've found some of my competitive nature, but i don't have the patience to hone my game playing skills so that i'll feel some of the exhileration of winning once in a while.

So, tag means I have to write 5 crazy things about myself... and like many other's that I've read, this is not an easy task. :D I think we secretly KNOW the crazy things, we are just hesitant to divulge them for the world to read.

Think, think, think...

1) I just packed up my whole house and moved in with my parents in TWO days! okay, maybe it took me longer than that, but I'll tell you what, it FELT like two days.

2)Some of my best, and most fulfiling friendships are with ex boyfriends. I was never one to be friends with boys growing up.. how much I missed!

3) I once hopped a plane for Australia on a whim.. told my friend I was coming to visit AFTER I bought the ticket.

4) huge confession-- when I was teaching school, I gave in to the pleas of two of my favorite students and shared some tempura paint so they could give a fond farewell to a student teacher they had a crush on.. they were SUPPOSED to use it only on the windows of her car, but they got carried away. Guess who went to the principles office??

Five is the hardest one!!!
hmmmmm....
5) I have boxes and boxes of art supplies that I NEVER use! I like to buy them at the store, but they promptly get put away for a rainy day. Inevitably, when the rainy day comes, I'm back at the craft store buying more supplies.

So, 5 crazy things about me... and i'll store up tag for the next time we all need a little spice in our blogs. :D

Moving Day, and the living is....

I don't quite know how to explain the day.. stressful, relieving, neverending... monotonous, adventurous...

I'm about half way finished, and after all the men come tomorrow to move the heavy furniture, it can only get better, right?? Please tell me I'm right!

I was highly relieved though, when I went to the bank to finalize the financing on the (boo hoo) loss on my condo. I'm having to find a loan to pay off the remainder on my mortgage. The gentleman at the bank said he was going through exactly the same thing. They sold their house quicker than they thought they would and had to get a loan for the loss. BUT!! he said it would wrap up in the mortgage of the new home he was building.

This is exactly what I was needing to hear. :) it's nice when a realtor tells you it can be done, but entirely another when you can't find someone who's actually had the experience.

Things are on their way.. Decisions were made 7 months ago, with no idea what the results or consequences might be, and now I'm working through those. I'm thankful for a wise father who reminds me of that, and of the comfort of making a decision early that helps with follow up decisions.

:) so, the phone rang at the :D:D unearthly hour of 7 am this morning... one of my best friends was calling to see how life is.. We had a WONDERFUL 45 minute chat, and then I let her go so i could catch 15 more minutes of shut eye. I was given strict instructions to blog about those 15 minutes of bliss.. and TA DA! here it is. They were wonderful minutes of sleep. Now i'm ready for more.. it's been a non stop day of packing boxes and making trips to storage units, and calling banks.

There's yet more to pack and dinner to be found.. so I will end with that.

Reverence

Four times a year a get this nifty little magazine in the mail from Brigham Young University--it's one of the "perks" for being an alumni, along with the regular requests for fund donations, that make me wonder why i'm not making enough money to feel like I can EVER make a donation that means anything. :)

Luckily, I don't feel overly guilty if I make a token $10 donation every couple of years. One day when I'm RICH I will call THEM to take my money.

But that wasn't the subject of this blog... it was the magazine article.

I don't usually read this magazine. It sits in a pile with the mail I feel like I SHOULD read, but never get to, and then ends up in the garbage when I have a huge cleaning adventure. This time, however, I was intrigued by the opening article titled Renewing Reverence by Paul Woodruff. It is adapted from a forum address he gave at BYU in January. I'll post some of the most interesting quotes here.

I was hoping I could link to the full article on the web, but all they have available is the audio of the address, so if you'd like to listen you can click here.

"...justice is not enough to provide us with the stable communities we need to survive. Justice by itself can be harsh, unfeeling, divisive. The losers in a court of law, even though they may deserve to lose, may be alienated and angry and bitter. There is a reason why courts of law are hedged around with reverent ceremony. The reason is that reverence pulls us together. And we need to be pulled together around acts of justice, and justice alone is not enough to do that. Justice by itself can divide us, but reverence pulls us together."

"Reverence is an ethical virtue that is most important and valuable in human life when people have great power over others. Reverence is remembering not to carry on as if you were a diety of some kind. Reverence is this memory of being human, with all that that means, that is fostered by a well-devleoped capacity for feeling awe at that which is awe inspiring, because feelings of awe remind us of our humanity. Reverence is the basis for respect, and the language of reverence is ceremonial. Its effect on us is restraint in the use of power."

"A reverent classroom is where learning is most likely to take place. In a reverent classroom neither the students nor the teacher interrupts. In a reverent classroom there is a ceremonial observance of respect... You may suppose that ceremony of raising your hands and waiting to be called upon is an empty ritual. In america these days we tend to associate the words empty and useless with ceremony and ritual, but surely the ceremonies of a reverent classroom are not empty and they are not useless. There is a kind of reverence in the classroom-- reverence for what is to be learned, for the truth, which is awe inspiring, somewhat mysterious because no on in the room knows all of it, and not under anyone's control."

"...reverence is also the difference between a home and a shelter where people sleep and eat. All cultures need to keep the family circle healthy because the family circle is foundational for a healthy society. "

"there's a huge cost to letting your rituals and ceremonies become empy. Reverence is what keeps your ceremonies from being empty.

Good stuff, huh??

Men's Figure Skating

speaking of reverence...

did you see the Men's Free Skate at the Olympics tonight?

They are mere boys to me now.. which is amazing.. seems like at the 2002 games I could still fancy that the skaters were somewhere near my age and I could justify having a crush or two. But now, goodness!! they are too young to even think about!

Yesterday they were doing the long programs that had so many requirements and they all chose harsh, abstract music to skate to. As a result they definitly showed their strenght and skill with the jumps and acrobatics.

Tonight though, they are skating to revered classics such as Sceharezad and the Pirates of Penzance and they are more commanding on the ice than I ever remember seeing in previous years.. granted time can make those memories dim. But I'm very impressed. It's been a year of suprises, and i'm really enjoying watching them... If you can call it watching...

I'm trying to multi task and do homework and pack and pay attention to the events at the same time.. so my back is actually turned to the television.. Everytime Scott Hamilton gets an excited pitch to his voice I have to turn around and see what he's exclaiming about!!

whew!! feels good to blog again.. but back to my homework!

Duncan Sheik

I'm on a high, I'm on a high
there's nothing more to it.
We are the sea and the sky
and the blue that runs through it, yeah.

and there are some who say there are so many things I need
so I run or I fight and I crawl or I scream and I bleed, I bleed, I bleed

well, it's a lie it's a lie - don't you believe it.
if you're fine then you're fine - it's all how you see it.
oh, there never will be no conspiracy of happiness.


Words to my current favorite song. :)

Good friends got tickets to Duncan's performance in Park City, Utah. He sang at a club called Suede. It's not exactly the atmosphere you would usually find me or my ski friend in, but we were well taken care of with a sprite in one hand and GREAT ventilation above our heads to suck up the smoke. Duncan didn't take the stage until nearly 10 pm and then played for a couple hours.

My fascination was in the comparison of his performance with the two acts previous to him. The first was a solo accoustic act who was actually pretty good. He was a bit edgy and had great stage presence, but less experienced with performing for a crowd. The second act was a band that was great at imitating the stuff you hear on the radio, but they weren't very original, nor could you understand their lyrics very well.

Enter Duncan-- Dark, handsome, (despite the thick beard) and armed with six guitars. He opened his mouth and beautiful, clear words emerged using every vocal technique I've seen. Added to the beauty of his form is the beauty of the meaning behind the words. It was stunning and I was riveted.

Here's some links to the lyrics of some of Duncan's other songs I've come to appreciate. Enjoy!

Genius
Someone you need (with Howard Jones)
Barely Breathing
For You
Home

Solace On the Ski Slopes

I have discovered solace.

When I was a child, Dad took the free ski lessons offered through local newspaper. They taught the basics of snowplowing, simple turns, safety, etc...

He brought all this information home and taught all of us kids. My uncles come from California to ski every couple of years, so they would put their two cents worth in, but never had enough time to really teach us how to ski.

Now that I think about it, I'm not sure any of us had the patience or perseverence to learn at that stage in our lives. We were pretty wimpy about the cold and how comfortable our boots and skis were. On a limited budget, we were pretty dependent on our winter coats and long johns to keep us warm. No fancy winter weather gear for us.

So, Dad discovered a fantastic deal at Alta Ski Resort. As part of their ski school, they offer a free skiing after 3 pm, EVERY DAY!!! (at least on one lift)Dad is also a great bargain hunter at the Deseret Industries, the LDS version of the Salvation Army. He has found fantastic deals on second hand skis.

I decided this year was it. I was going to find my deal on skis and take advantage of this free lift to make or break my ski skills. Dad helped me find some parabolic skis for $15 and boots for $5. :D I'm proud to report that I'm addicted. I love skiing!! Thanks to ad hoc lessons from a good friend who loves the slopes more than anyone I know, I'm learning to parallel ski and actually feel some control on the slopes. Because of that control, I can take my focus off of my fear of breaking my leg and put some of it on appreciating the beauty of the canyon, and the snow and the softness it brings to the otherwise rocky crevices.

So, now I've got a companion for my Beach Bug-- the Ski Bug!! This one is a little bit easier to appease, due to the perks available to locals.

Over one, Under one

I must have made my mother crazy when I was a child. I remember spending hours with her fabric scraps, carefully pulling each yarn out of each piece to discover how it was made, or simply to feel the hand of the fabric and wile away the time. The end result was, as you can imagine, a pile of threads that could only be effectivly cleaned up with a vacuum cleaner.

To this day I walk up to people wearing clothing made of interesting fabric and ask if I can feel it. --NO, I leave the yarns safely woven on their bodies, I promise!!
A brief volunteer job at a This is the Place Heritage Park helped me discover a penchant for spinning wool. Alas, a lonely spinning wheel sits in my dining room waiting for me to give it some attention.

I've taken two or three weaving classes and attended textile workshops in Logan on several occasions. While I love going to the classes, none of it has stuck. Perhaps because it take so much time to settle into --and complete-- a project.

Who knows, but this week I found it. :D

This beautiful little loom showed up in my latest issue of Martha Stewart Living, and I'm just drooling over it. It is small enough that I could weave a square here and there as I watch a television show or need a break from my studies.

hee hee hee.. i guess this spoils Christmas! xoxoxo

Pick a color, any color!!

Crayon Box Color Picker
Flicker color Picker

This is amazing.. click on the color in the color wheel and it brings you a selection of pictures.

I chose pink and it showed me a beautiful shot of a daisy. Shame though, you can't save them..

I think flickr is worth a second look for my photos. :)

enjoy!

What's the Big Idea?

When you're worried and you can't sleep
Count your blessings instead of sheep.

When your focus is on every day, menial tasks, it is easy to get overwhelmed and restless. Taking the time to refocus on your personal mission, vision and goals will recenter your thoughts and efforts and make the menial tasks meaningful again.

Yesterday I got stuck in the menial. I was working feverishly to build a course for an instructor, very much involved on an application level to create documents and upload files and construct an attractive look and feel. On occasion, this is refreshing, yesterday it was exhausting.

I only felt refreshed when my boss began discussing the mission, vision and goals of our department, and creating a big picture of my purpose in the organization again. :D He didn't know he was doing this. He was just working on some of his own work projects, but by including me in his thought processes and asking my feedback, it expanded my view from the everyday menial tasks to that of the bigger picture.

A good friend helped me learn this concept. We used to work together, and one or the other of us would get restless, and we'd go for a walk. Just spending a few minutes looking at the mountains or a large building-- anything with space, would help to bring the focus back to my work so that I could get those things done that were imperitive to the success of my work.

Funny how I have to get "stuck" to remember the concept and put it into practice.